The First “I Love You”

The First “I Love You”

I always wondered about the boy
Who would steal my heart one day
I did not think that boy would be
The man you are today

You kiss me and I turn away
For I’m a little shy
My coyness seems more than enough
To scare off other guys

But what’s shy to you is quirky
And the way you touch my face
Makes me want to hold onto
This feeling I can’t replace

You stole a part of me that night
That’s now just memory
You showed me something of yourself
That others don’t really see

I had dreamt of whispered “I love you’s”
But the way you said it that night
I don’t think it could have been better
It couldn’t have felt more right

I’m not sure what really took place
As you held me in your car
But something seems to have changed
As you showed me who you are

Now there’s a weight deep in my gut
And I think it’s because of you
I think that people call it fear
For now I’ve something to lose

Our lives they keep on changing
And who you are today
Is not a guaranteed forever
As nothing stays the same

Just know when I said “I love you”
It means our happiness comes first
As the past burns out and the future comes
Our feelings may disperse

But loving you means letting go
Should letting go be right
It means you see hope in one place
Where for me there’s just no light

But “I love you” comes with no regrets
And in my heart you’ll stay
The one who showed me something real
Who changed my yesterdays

You said you want me to remember
And now you’re a part of me
The boy who once upon a time
I fit with perfectly.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2014

Falling For You

Falling For You

You read my mind the other night
The thoughts in me I tried to hide
But lying with our faces close
My eyes gave away what I want most

You asked to know what’s in my head
For you know that my mind never rests
My eyes can’t shield what this has become
It’s too late now to turn and run

But I’m scared and just a little coy
A girl enamoured by a boy
So I smile and keep my lips shut tight
While your eyes glimmer with the moonlight

Yet you won’t give up so easily
You want to know just all of me
So I tell you, you must read my mind
To know what’s going on inside

You hint around and ask for clues
Is it a bad thought or is it good?
My hint is transparent as shiny glass
You somehow read my mind so fast

I don’t know how I gave it away
You speak the words that I can’t say
But the best part wasn’t “I’m falling for you”
It was hearing you say, “I’m falling too.”

 Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2014

F—, I Think I’m in Love

F—, I Think I’m in Love

I’m not sure what’s going on here
It came like a lightning bolt
Struck me unexpectedly
And put my heart on halt

I’d thought maybe it’d be nice
To live in a romance film
But I was a non-believer
I thought, “it can’t be real”

I kinda, just sorta liked you
If you know what I mean
I wasn’t sure if there was more
For it remained to be seen

But now I sit here missing you
And I just saw you today
There’s something tugging at my chest
Like my heart is child’s play

It tugs so hard a tear slips out
And I yell “F — I think I’m in love”
I’m no longer one person without you
My own company’s just not enough

I’m not sure if I should hate you
For making me need you so
I pathetically bury my head in the pillow
That smells like your cologne

And I think I would die if you knew this
I’ve played it so cool thus far
But I’m slipping from the rails here
Into everything you are

You know, I can’t function anymore
My life has become second to you
Everything becomes colourless
There’s nothing else I want to do

I know it’s so unhealthy
To become addicted this way
To live in a world that’s just you and me
To want you to always stay

The worst part is I don’t care at all
I want to fall into addiction
The ache inside just hurts so good
The strangest disposition

So I wrote this poem in some vain attempt
To get you out of my mind
But know that in five minutes
I won’t be feeling so fine

‘Cause I think I’m falling in love with you
[insert profanity of all kinds here]
I didn’t know I would lose myself this way
For that’s one of my greatest fears

But I suppose that’s just what falling is
Giving a part of yourself away
Replacing it with the part you gave me
We become connected this way

The feeling is new and foreign to me
And I may think I’ve lost myself
When perhaps I’m just changing
Into more of something else

I finally, truly get it now
All those things people said about love
The risk, the pain of heartbreak
The need to act so tough

But I’m in it now and it’s too late
It’s become more than just a game
Darn it, I’m in love with you
Now my life won’t ever be the same.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2014

Don’t You Know

Don’t You Know

I see it in your eyes sometimes
Brown water drops that never cry
The way you try to hold it in
Like showing weakness is such a sin

You ask me through your subtle words
But I’m shut-off and a little absurd
You form those doubts deep in your mind
You ask me what in you I find

But don’t you know you’re morning sun
You wake me up to kingdom come
You’re freedom in the air I breathe
The hope in everything that I see

Don’t you know you’re my shivering spine
Whenever you say “you are mine”
The aching in my gut I feel
I’ve never known to be so real

You take my loneliness on rainy days
You are the push through all my pain
Oh don’t you know you’re the bluest sky
A drug addiction that gets me high

But don’t you know I’m just afraid
That you will break my heart one day
And I’d have said to you these words
That were shut in and a little absurd

Oh don’t you know that I’m just scared
‘Cause I’ve never been so unprepared
What if love makes a fool of me
And the flaws inside are all you see

Don’t you know, I wish you knew
You’re always there in all I do
So look at me with those brown eyes
Past my surfaces to what’s inside.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2014

You Are

This was in honour of Valentine’s Day – my first ever. I told him not to freak out when he read it. He read it and said something along the lines of: “That’s fine. I’m not freaked out at all. What do you think of my poem?”

You Are

You are what I wrote about
Before I knew your name
You are the feeling that I get
From words read on a page

You are the lyrics to that song
We heard on the radio
You are a lesson I never learned
But one I ought to know

You are kisses in deserted parks
And laughter in the rain
You are a midnight curfew
I always want to break

You are moments in life I dreamt about
That I questioned to exist
But if dreams were somehow reality
It would happen just like this

So forget this now, but keep it safe
Where no one else can see
For days you need reminding:
You are all these things to me.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2014

Between Heaven and Hell

Between Heaven and Hell

I hope you know what you’re in for, boy
When you asked me to be yours
Don’t think this is some lover’s game
That you can stop, start and pause

I think you knew it from the start
You wanted to be mine
You got a pencil for your life
And drew out all your lines

I told you I’m a wanderer
So chase me at your own risk
But once you have me, don’t let me go
For you’ve never loved like this

Like love that makes you levitate
That binds you in a spell
And you know that there’s no turning back
As we rock between heaven and hell

I’ll light a fire in your eyes
Like I’m something you’ve waited for
You’ll wonder how you ever lived
Without me here before

I warn you I’m the devil, boy
For I’ll get into your mind
I’m temptation tonguing innocence
And you don’t know what you’ll find

Did you know what you were asking for?
When you asked me to be yours
‘Cause I feel you falling deeper
And I know that you want more

I tried to keep a distance
But your persistence ravished me
Your heart beats faster in your chest
As you watch emotion bleed

I hope you know what you fell for, boy
I’m more than just a prize
You think that I’m an angel
But I’m the devil in disguise.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2014

Completely, Totally

Completely, Totally

Beneath the intensity of this full moon night
He waits to peer into my soul
He wishes to draw that something out
The secrets inside I hold

He sees convolution in my mind
Words twined together like ropes
It makes it hard to speak eloquence
To tell him of dreams and hopes

Yet he wishes to know me completely
He paves way for me to see him
He gives his words so effortlessly
Underneath this moonlight dim

I envy how easy it seems to come
While words stay buried in me
My speech creates only new regret
How can I give totally?

I wait for more moments like this one
As we lie in sticky, sweaty mess
Evidence of our desires
Sharing one more hope and regret

Time is something that I need
To trust, to open, to love
To give up something inside of myself
When I’ve decided love’s enough

When our voices have faded out with the night
When breathing is all that remains
He presses his forehead against my own
And I know my life’s not the same

The words we said have past now
And what’s left is him and me
It’s this moment that I think, perhaps,
He knows me completely, totally.

 Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2014

Strangers and Lovers

Strangers and Lovers

I lost myself in your breath last night
As I felt that yearning ache inside
The moon stole witness to this claim
This unrestrained passion that took place

Silver light spills over your skin
Fleetingly I wonder: all my life, where you’ve been
Your closed eyes give way to my stare
The confusion is sometimes more than I can bear

I ask myself who you really are
If I really wish to go so far
It seems that beyond so nice and so tall
I really don’t know who you are at all

But growing night paves way for embrace
And I find myself gazing at your face
We share secrets under the shine of stars
We act like teenagers in your car

Yet time apart makes a stranger of you
Makes me think that love’s too soon
And wonder if love is in the equation at all
If I could ever really start to fall

Passion and want creates ecstasy
Your touch ignites electricity
But it’s easy to get lost in moments at night
When I am a fool and my heart thinks it’s right

We are strangers and lovers together as one
With no indication of what’s more to come
For now I can’t say what you’re going to be
A strange lover in you is all I can see.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2014

The First

The First

I can’t bring back what could have been
That recklessness of youth
That yearning to fall so mindlessly
Within feelings misunderstood

I know now that I’ve missed that time
That time that became my own
Exploring so very fervently
These places far from home

I gave myself to the world then
And I let you walk on by
Perhaps it was fear that held me back
Perhaps it was not my time

That white dress innocence is gone now
I know love is not child’s play
Though it’s still a stranger to my heart
I see love in a different way

How can I explain this to you
Innocence against battle scars
Scars of time that went on by
Of feeling trapped by bars

Yet the scars on my heart are zero
I haven’t been tainted there yet
But I know the risks from wisdom gained
In playing this lover’s bet

You become my very first everything
First kiss, first touch, first love
First one I want to make see smile
‘Cause just your smile’s enough

So tell me what you think now
For though you are the first
I know you’ve loved before me
You’ve seen the best and worst

From where we are now standing
I know we should be the same
I should have loved before you
Someone must’ve staked my claim

But I joined the game much later
I am innocence to you
And every time you touch me
The feeling is so brand new

I may not be sixteen again
But what I missed out then
I feel it now with you by my side
Like this love will never end

And I don’t know if it’s better
To love now when I am wise
Or to yearn for total abandon
In my sixteen-year-old mind

So you told me I was different
And now you know just why
I’ve had no heartbreak in my life
No reason for me to cry

It all sounds good on paper
For there’s no need to compete
I won’t be leaving one foot behind
When jumping in with both feet

But know you are the first
The first that may break my heart
And I won’t ever be the same
Should love tear me apart

And if that should ever happen
Just know I’ll be okay again
I’ll even accept the reality
That we may not stay friends

This burden is the price you pay
For being first owner of my heart
You’re the first I want to give it to
Of me, you’ll always be a part

So before the heartbreaks and the tears
Thank you for showing me
For teaching me what it’s all about
For we’re making history

Let’s rule this world together on stars
See every single thing on earth
And at the end, should there ever be one
Just remember: you were the first.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2013

Hope’s Candle

Hope’s Candle

I wonder if failing gets easier
The older we become
We wear them on us like medals
Of obstacles overcome

Hope begins so abundant
When we see through child’s eyes
I wish to feel so limitless
To find limit in the sky

Yet the pain begins to numb me
Each failure crumbles my faith
Timelines of all that should have been
Tell me it’s all too late

They say failing makes you stronger
Each downfall a lesson learned
No one ever thinks to mention
That your hope, it also burns

Hope’s flame begins so fiery
If you tend to it, it grows
But the flame it always flickers
With every taken blow

Hope’s candle starts to diminish
That burning pool of wax
Until there’s really nothing left
Of flame that it once had

What can I do, my candle’s out
I’m broken down again
No matter how I try to ignite it
My hope is at its end

Then I woke up this morning
And there was a box from you
Inside the box was a candle
Fresh, untouched, brand new.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2013