Rescue Me

Rescue Me

Purple and black spiral surrounds
I’m falling through these smoky clouds
My tears are rain that eclipse the earth
Searching for my own self-worth

Cold steel and shadows everywhere
Pelting through this rushing air
Wanting for a human hand
The warmth and hope of understand

The ground’s my only saviour now
For the heroes I sought could not be found
And I wonder if I’ll lose it all
I wonder if I’ll survive the fall

This can’t be how it’s meant to end
Yet I’ve used up my defence
Just show me who I’m meant to be
Un-blind my eyes so I can see

Fight for the pages left of my life
Don’t let them fall, keep them alive
Rescue me from this black eclipse
Don’t let me fall to the abyss

There must be something more to me
There must be more that I can be
This can’t be how the story ends
I must have left one last defence

So find my hand, if it’s not too late
Don’t let me stand for such a fate
Follow my voice, please fight for me
And wake me from this reality.

© Lily K. Lynn 2012

The Devil’s Mask

These long gaps between entries is horrible, I know. Unfortunately, when I leave in a month or so, the gaps will likely become even longer. I do read any comments left and appreciate them very much. I just haven’t had time to reply. I’m very sorry. I’ve been trying to cope with certain decisions I’ve made in my life, that will likely decide my future, and it’s difficult when you can’t really talk to anyone about how you *really* feel about them. All people want to hear is how great everything is and they get uncomfortable when you express otherwise. So I’m trying to cope with it myself. Perhaps not the wisest thing to do, but I suppose I only have myself to blame for the way everything turned out. Everyone’s life seems to be skyrocketing and I’m just plummeting to the ground (not that I was high up to begin with).

The Devil’s Mask

I sold my soul to the devil today
Knowing full well it came with a price
He burned a hole inside of me
And I stood there, none the wise

He stole the light within my heart
The fuel behind my words
For, alas, I wanted normality
So I watched my poor soul burn

He gave me a mask to wear
So people don’t see my eyes
The tears that cloud my vision
They drown me from the inside

I was always alone, he tells me
So what difference does it make?
My heart incapable of loving
There was nothing ever at stake

So he stripped me of all good things
Of my dreams, my words, my love
And left only behind a darkness
That was meant to be good enough

The mask he gave keeps smiling
So they think I’m happy with my choice
I sold my soul to the devil
And it left me with another’s voice

What I must have done in my past life
To come from something so broken
Everything shatters, everything breaks
From the moment I awoken

The devil must really hate me
To make me hate myself that much more
For giving in to the choice that decided
To wipe everything good from before

So as others continue toward happiness
I’m always left behind
Broken will always be broken
It’s the story of my life

And now I sold my soul away
I don’t have anything left to hold
My life descends to nothingness
Though I’m trying to fit the mould

But the mask it keeps on smiling
So no one will ever know
And the darkness runs through my veins
So slow, so very slow

One day, when I can’t pretend anymore
The mask will be pulled from me
And when that day comes to pass
I wonder, what will they see?

© Lily K. Lynn 2012

As We Were

It’s been a while. I apologise. My life is kind of heading in a different direction and I’m still trying to mend the pieces of a recently broken dream. Hopefully in the future, probably when I least expect it, I’ll find that dream again. For now though, I’m struggling to figure out if I’m making the right choices or if all this will lead to yet another disappointment. I guess I’m trying to find something that’s enough for me to want to stick around to see what happens next. Right now, I just don’t know. Call it an existential crisis or fate vs choice, but life is looking bleak at the moment. It’s a step-up from the bleak I was feeling a week or two ago, but bleak nonetheless. I have decided to keep fighting on at least till the end of this year though. I’m going to go ahead with what plans I have made, accept that this may end up being my life though it was never my first choice, and hopefully some time during all of it, I’ll realise it’s made me happy.

As We Were

Wish we could rule the world somehow
With restless hearts of innocence
Untainted by men of power and greed
Who’ve made of us a mess

Not sure what happened in between
When our feet they tumbled on in
Spiralled down as the light got away
As we forget where we have been

The lines of right and wrong get blurred
Driven by personal gain
Is this humanity or what we teach?
Are we but pieces on a board game?

Wish we could be just as we were
Stop building bombs and prison walls
Men in suits playing battleship
And soon all ships will fall

People saying what we need to do
What we need to have and believe
Minds stolen so easily this way
Souls searching for reprieve

Preaching power in guise of love
Soon the difference will disappear
Labels make us good or bad
Driven by ingrained fears

If we could be just as we were
Perfect when we open our eyes
See the world for the very first time
Know not the meaning of lies

There’d be no need to rule the world
For everyone’s a kinder heart
No need to question if people are good
The world runs with you a part

But there’s something wrong with that picture
And there’s no reason the world’s this way
Hoping naively for utopia
Will bring just sadder days

So we’ll just keep on spinning like this
Falling down like broken feathers
Moving away from the beginning
Further from as we were.

© Lily K. Lynn 2012