Hope’s Candle

Hope’s Candle

I wonder if failing gets easier
The older we become
We wear them on us like medals
Of obstacles overcome

Hope begins so abundant
When we see through child’s eyes
I wish to feel so limitless
To find limit in the sky

Yet the pain begins to numb me
Each failure crumbles my faith
Timelines of all that should have been
Tell me it’s all too late

They say failing makes you stronger
Each downfall a lesson learned
No one ever thinks to mention
That your hope, it also burns

Hope’s flame begins so fiery
If you tend to it, it grows
But the flame it always flickers
With every taken blow

Hope’s candle starts to diminish
That burning pool of wax
Until there’s really nothing left
Of flame that it once had

What can I do, my candle’s out
I’m broken down again
No matter how I try to ignite it
My hope is at its end

Then I woke up this morning
And there was a box from you
Inside the box was a candle
Fresh, untouched, brand new.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2013

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That Moment Last Night

I realise the title of this poem is awfully uncreative, but I couldn’t think of what else to call it. The title is exactly what this poem is about, so it is what it is!

That Moment Last Night

I think back to that moment last night
As you stared on down at me
The warmth of your body over mine
You whispered so carefully

Delirium takes over our minds
It tends to give me pause
You hold me close, press into me
Tonight, my heart is yours

You brush your nose against my cheek
Beneath the stars we kiss
Time stands still for you and me
Tonight, we just exist

Then you look me in the eye, say:
“What are you doing to me?”
I coyly smile, ask “What do you mean?”
As my heart beats frantically

That’s when I glimpse a part of your soul
As you tell me “You’re a wonderful girl”
I wonder if I’m in a movie now
Dreaming my own little world

But you say it so sincerely, you say:
“Don’t you think otherwise,
I don’t know what you’re doing with me
I’m just an average guy”

Words get caught inside my throat
A traffic jam from my mind
I try to think of all the reasons
As he asks me why

I think of his nervous laughter
I think of his goofy smiles
I think of the sweet things that he does
I think of his artistic style

It’s everything together
And all he did to win my heart
I’m ineloquent in expression
‘Cause I don’t know where to start!

So my mouth spills out generic
Something like “you’re a nice guy”
I think he means the things he says
So I tell him, yes, that’s why

We settle back onto the grass
And as we paint pictures with clouds
I think of things I should have said
If my brain would connect with my mouth

But I take comfort in the growing night
As I realise it’s just the start
We have the rest of eternity
To share what’s in our hearts

So I kiss his neck and close to his ear
I whisper quietly
I tell him that of all the places
There’s nowhere I’d rather be

He holds my hand and smiles
His warmth burns my defence
And I know we are thinking the exact same thing:
“I wish tonight would never end.”

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2013

The Things You Make Me Want to Do

The Things You Make Me Want to Do

I keep my secrets locked inside
Within my heart is where they hide
And around my heart there is a wall
That must be climbed to get in at all

So you used your hammer, knocked it down
You weren’t afraid of what was found
Slowly, you begin to find my key
You unlock my secrets and set them free

I find myself thinking of life before
I was satisfied not wanting more
Now I wonder how I did without
As you teach me what love’s about

I used to like thunderstorms and rainy days
For the solitary moments given way
But I listen to it now and think of you
The thunderstorm music to the things we’d do

Your eyes pierce depths into my soul
Makes me breathe, makes me bold
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alive
I’m freedom like the ocean’s tide

It’s more than beautiful that I feel
Beyond just beauty there’s something real
You make me want to give myself
It’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt

With you, I see my inner child
Yet also I feel a little wild
Stolen kisses in deserted parks
Though I still don’t quite know who you are

I’m a little untamed with you by my side
You’re taking me on a rollercoaster ride
I begin to not trust myself with you
And these things you make me want to do.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2013

Stranger By My Side

Stranger by my Side

I wonder who he becomes at night
Before he lays to sleep
I wonder about his rainy days
And if he ever feels so deep

The masks we put on begin to crack
As time it passes by
Exposing the wounds and the flaws
Revealing all our lies

Melancholy consumed me today
And I wonder how he’d feel
I’ve never had to think of another
When I’ve felt so very real

I wonder why I care so much
When strangers are all we are
You can’t truly know a person
When you’ve only come so far

But he’s such a lovely stranger
Whose kisses I wish to keep
But something seems to hold me back
From jumping with both feet

My sadness can overwhelm me
I like to lock away and hide
I’ve taught myself resistance
In keeping feelings shut inside

Yet I know I must now be open
For if I never give my heart
Strangers forever is all we’ll be
And it will end before it starts

I fear misunderstanding
For I feel to the depths of my soul
Not many care to reach so far
To disappear in those black holes

Smiling feels like work sometimes
I just want to know him all
I wish I could see his melancholy
Before I start to fall

Those moments before we fall asleep
When we’re alone on rainy days
There’s no one else to answer for
No meaningless things to say

I think if he could know me now
And I could see him here
The strangers we are to each other
Would become a bit more clear

I wait for that moment I look at him
I wait to see it in our eyes
I wait for the day that he becomes
more than a stranger by my side.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2013

The Twenty-Something Soul

The Twenty-Something Soul

It never seems like a mistake
Those moments you decide
You tell yourself it’ll be okay
And pay your sins with time

You pay them so very freely
For life hasn’t “happened yet”
You think you have more years to go
To live out your regrets

The signposts you meet are many
They point in every which way
So you sigh and fall down on your bed
“Just get me through today!”

Facebook makes you doubt yourself
Your friends are all engaged
Or they’re out there “living the dream”
While you’re stuck in this cage

That degree you got means nothing
That’s why you took off and took flight
Struggling to somehow “find yourself”
Through raging, sleepless nights

You saw the world with your own two eyes
And thought you knew it all
Never realising there’s only you now
To catch you if you fall

Heartbreak costs more than you bargained
Because now is when people change
Seven years down the track
He or she won’t be the same

Feeling like you know everything
Yet nothing at the same time
Watching as other people take that dream
The one that was meant to be mine

Change is constant and so is doubt
Those mistakes cost you a life
The life that you were meant to have
Those dreams you knew not you strived

Society punishes you for changing your mind
For trying to find who you are
You’ve caved when the highlight of your week
Is Friday night drinks at the bar

You just want to be “together”
You want the body, the soulmate, the dream
That apartment that’s yours and a job you love
A life that fits perfectly

Yet nothing happened how you planned
You keep digging a deeper hole
Pretty soon you’ll be close to thirty
With absolutely nothing to show

Bombarded with messages from the wiser
Disheartened by the young
Trying to find some footing in life
While trying to just have some fun

So kick down that darned signpost
Disable my Facebook page
Look ahead with peace of mind – ‘cause you know what?
I did my best today.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2013

Dear Grandma

Dear Grandma

To my dearest grandma
This letter comes from my heart
I reminisce on memories
Of which I was never a part

Your daughter told me to talk to you
And it’d be wise to heed her advice
For those times I failed to listen to her
I always paid the price

 Sometimes she says I remind her of you
Though we never got to meet
She says you were beautiful and wonderful
Always thinking on your feet

I think you would know just what to say
As I feel like I’ve messed up my life
I want to go back and change everything
For I realise I’ve wasted my time

Yet I really don’t want to ask so much
For you must be busy up there
But your daughter tells me you listen
In times of her own despair

So first I want to say thank you
For bringing good things to my life
For giving me an experience
That makes me feel so alive

I never thought it would happen
Because I waited for so long
And though it’s just beginning
The lesson will make me strong

Now I ask for one more thing
To get me on the right track
I’m done with looking everywhere
And getting naught but two steps back

I think this might be right for me
I just wish I knew from the start
That I didn’t let fear get in the way
Of what was in my heart

It just seems mightily impossible
For train tracks can’t be jumped
I must need a little magic
To win a battle that can’t be won

I just ask for a small stepping stone
I promise to work hard for the rest
I want to live my world by passion
Though I may not be the best

I don’t know if you’re getting this
But your daughter told me to try
She said you answered all her pleas
And perhaps you’d answer mine

I think you know some secret
As you’re smiling from way up there
Maybe you’ve been watching all this time
I was just too ignorant to care

Maybe the sum of my experiences
Are leading to something great
This silly fear is stupidity
Like everything’s too late

So if you hear me, grandma
I just need a little light
A little guidance to see the way
To watch these dreams take flight

I wish I got to hear your voice
I wish I could see your smile
Thank you, grandma, with all my heart
Love from your grand-child.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2013