Other Girl Syndrome

I feel I should apologise for the lack of poetry lately. I’ve been in somewhat of a slump that I just can’t seem to get out of. Messed up does not even begin to describe what’s going on in my head. It doesn’t exactly get the creative juices flowing (well, maybe sometimes). Anyway, I don’t want to bore you with tales of my self-indulgent misery, so here’s another piece of poetry. It’s not solely about me, but I think most girls have gone through something like this at some point or another, unless you’re Miranda Kerr…har-dee-hah.

Other Girl Syndrome

Just one smile would be all right
A glance just here and there
For remaining but a sheet of glass
Brings nothing but despair

Must be the way she stands sometimes
The way she hides her eyes
She’s the ghost of everyone
And she wishes she knew why

All they need do is twirl their hair
Or, sometimes, nothing at all
And she watches time and time again
As their suitors start to fall

They share with her the numbers
How many they’ve caught in their net
And she remains but silent
For she hasn’t caught any yet

Yes, there must be something wrong
Not skinny, not pretty enough
No hair that falls right to her waist
She’s none of the above

It’s getting to be a tired game now
And she doesn’t even try
Fruitless attempts bring misery
And so does asking why

The best she can do is try to breathe
For they never promised a kinder world
And perhaps one day she’ll finally be
More than just the other girl.

© Lily K. Lynn 2012

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White Dress

This piece was inspired by one of my best friends and is dedicated to her. She just told us that she got engaged today. I know she doesn’t want to tell the world yet, but since I’m pretty certain none of you know her in real life, it’s safe to say it here! So this one’s for her. I know she’s going to read this, so: we couldn’t be happier for you, my dear friend. Lots of love and blessings for the future. Xx

White Dress

I saw you in that white dress
Long before yesterday
What is it we used to talk about?
What is it we used to say?

We sat in the classrooms all those times
The times that seem long ago
Talking of futures that would never come
Of things we were yet to know

We spoke of finding that special one
Who could see beyond our flaws
The one we would one day give our yes
Who would open our closed doors

You didn’t imagine it would be so soon
How he fell into your life
You didn’t see him getting on one knee
And asking you to be his wife

Yet love is often strange that way
A million words can’t tell you why
The heart has its reasons not reason knows of
And you know when something feels right

At fifteen, he was always in your heart
You just didn’t know his name
So you waited, you fell, you got up again
For your heart was always his to claim

So I see you in that white dress now
With flowers in your hand
I see that something in your eyes
I’m yet to understand

And I hope he knows how lucky he is
‘Cause you’re a girl so rare
I hope he appreciates your every smile
Your every breath and stare

We’ll never be fifteen again
We’re all growing up so fast
People change and what remains
Was always meant to last

A part of me says goodbye to you
As you put on your white dress
But although your heart is given to him
We won’t love you any less

I’ll never forget the look in your eyes
The sparkles all around
I think we’re one step closer now
To getting what it’s all about.

© Lily K. Lynn 2012

My Wings

My Wings

One by one I see them go
Disappear with wings they grew
I always thought I’d go with them
I’d have those same wings too

Instead I find I’m left on ground
My wings are not the same
They must work harder to make me fly
And I feel so ashamed

They’re not completely flown yet
But soon they’ll make it there
Then they’ll turn and look at me
With pity and despair

For I’m the one who’s left behind
Not born to fly with them
So I guess I’ll really lose them all
And it’ll just be me and my pen

How easy it would be to want
To grow those same wings too
Yet no matter how hard I try at it
It’s not what I was born to do

So I guess I must learn to be okay
With being left behind
With the whisperings and the curious stares
That say: she’s going out of her mind

I guess I was never meant to keep up
The memo wasn’t given to me
So I never learnt how to build those wings
That would fly to where I should be

So today I take off the wings I tacked on
With tape and broken strings
The wings I tried to make like theirs
For the joy I thought it would bring

I start from scratch to create my own
And though it will take more time
When I finally make it up there one day
At least I’ll know they were mine.

© Lily K. Lynn 2011

Soulmates

This is a fun, humorous poem I wrote quite some time ago. I think the concept of finding your “soulmate” becomes less and less probable as you get older, and more and more unrealistic. I know that there are girls out there who will, deep down, always hold onto the hope of finding their one true soulmate, and though I still do dream of Prince Charming (I’m a shameless fairytale junkie), for me, my true soulmates in life are the people I can trust and rely on the most. So I’ll keep this post short and simple today, and leave you with this poem that’s just a bit of light-hearted fun. Who are your soulmates in life? Xx

Soulmates

“Do you believe in soulmates?”
Her best friend said to her
She thought about it carefully
That controversial word

“Well,” she said, “when I was five,
my mother said to me:
You’ll have your own Prince Charming one day,
and you’ll both live happily.”

“Then I was ten and liked this boy
He teased me and called me names
Before telling my friend he loved her more
And the teasing was just a game

“Then sixteen came rolling around
I liked boys of different taste
But he dumped me the first time we went out
‘Cause I wouldn’t go to second base

“When I finally turned twenty-one
I thought this must be it
Prince Charming on his motorbike
With his devilish smile and wit

“But he fell in love with another girl
If ‘love’ meant blonder hair
I tossed him to the sidewalk
And pretended I don’t care

“I almost got married at twenty-five
But on our wedding day
He said to me he couldn’t commit
And told me he was gay

“So now I’m turning thirty
And all that’s left of me
Are remnants of some scattered hope
But how futile hope can be”

She turned to her friend and said to her,
“I may never be a wife
There may never be the perfect man
But this friendship is for life

“So my answer is yes, I do believe
That soulmates do exist
It’s you and me, for eternity,
That’s exactly what friendship is.”

© Lily K. Lynn 2011

The Hardest Goodbye

So I’ve officially removed all my poems from my old blog and will be re-posting them all here over time. I’m also excited to begin sharing any short stories I’ve written. Unfortunately, many of them are mere skimmerings of a spur-of-the-moment “great idea” and are therefore incomplete. But enough about that now. This poem was written a few years ago. It was after high school and during those first few years of university when I found myself drifting apart from all of my close high school friends. You think these friendships are made of steel and will last forever, despite distance and time, but unfortunately this is hardly ever the way things go.

What are your experiences with your old friends? Did you survive the huge transition from high school to college/university? Are you still friends twenty years down the track? Or do you find yourself hardly remembering the faces of people you once knew so well? I’d love to hear your stories below. Xx

The Hardest Goodbye

My hardest goodbye was not with a boy
It was not done with a broken heart
It was everything opposite to what I thought
When it all finally fell apart

 Seven friends promised on graduation day
That their friendships would stay alive
No matter the distance or the time
They promised to stay in each other’s lives

 The first year passed by quickly
And that’s when change begins
It leaks into those unseen cracks
The foundation of where friendship begins

 Who am I to criticise change?
I know I’m not the same
And at the very end of it all
None of us are to blame

People grow up and want different things
It seems easy to let go of the past
The part I don’t really quite understand
Is how it all happened so fast

One by one we slipped away
And those still left behind
Found that it’s not how it used to be
How we laughed and cried those times

 We don’t know how to talk anymore
We don’t know how to be
I’m afraid to tell them my secrets
I used to divulge openly

How did we become such strangers?
How did it come to this?
Awkward hugs and smiles
What is it that I missed?

 The hardest goodbye isn’t goodbye itself
It’s admitting it’s time to let go
Trying to hold something together
That died a long time ago

But years from now, I’ll still smile
At a picture of my old friends and me
I’ll smile not for the hardest goodbye
But, always, for the memories.

© Lily K. Lynn 2011

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