Dear Grandma

Dear Grandma

To my dearest grandma
This letter comes from my heart
I reminisce on memories
Of which I was never a part

Your daughter told me to talk to you
And it’d be wise to heed her advice
For those times I failed to listen to her
I always paid the price

 Sometimes she says I remind her of you
Though we never got to meet
She says you were beautiful and wonderful
Always thinking on your feet

I think you would know just what to say
As I feel like I’ve messed up my life
I want to go back and change everything
For I realise I’ve wasted my time

Yet I really don’t want to ask so much
For you must be busy up there
But your daughter tells me you listen
In times of her own despair

So first I want to say thank you
For bringing good things to my life
For giving me an experience
That makes me feel so alive

I never thought it would happen
Because I waited for so long
And though it’s just beginning
The lesson will make me strong

Now I ask for one more thing
To get me on the right track
I’m done with looking everywhere
And getting naught but two steps back

I think this might be right for me
I just wish I knew from the start
That I didn’t let fear get in the way
Of what was in my heart

It just seems mightily impossible
For train tracks can’t be jumped
I must need a little magic
To win a battle that can’t be won

I just ask for a small stepping stone
I promise to work hard for the rest
I want to live my world by passion
Though I may not be the best

I don’t know if you’re getting this
But your daughter told me to try
She said you answered all her pleas
And perhaps you’d answer mine

I think you know some secret
As you’re smiling from way up there
Maybe you’ve been watching all this time
I was just too ignorant to care

Maybe the sum of my experiences
Are leading to something great
This silly fear is stupidity
Like everything’s too late

So if you hear me, grandma
I just need a little light
A little guidance to see the way
To watch these dreams take flight

I wish I got to hear your voice
I wish I could see your smile
Thank you, grandma, with all my heart
Love from your grand-child.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2013

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Guardian Angel

Guardian Angel

Blue skies mean nothing
From this place beyond the stars
I whisper in your ear when you sleep
No matter where you are

You never remember what I say
Your tears, they drown your heart
You wish for rain in sunshine
You ask why we’re apart

I give you gentle kisses
I hope to give you light
For although I’m someplace better
You should still see that clear blue sky

I know you feel me in your dreams
Running through your veins
I live in you forever now
My memory still remains

I may never really disappear for you
But for me, that’s just enough
I want to see you smile again
As I watch you from above

Remember what I said that day
The day that came too soon?
I love you, I love you, and no matter what
I’ll always wait for you.

© Lily K. Lynn 2012

She Cries

The following poem was not written about myself. I wrote this after hearing about a close relative’s experience with miscarriage. The story was told to me by my mother and it moved me so that I felt the need to write a poem about it. I’m happy to say that this close relative now has two beautiful children, and her daughter is like a sister to me. I don’t pretend to understand what it feels like to go through a miscarriage, and in no way is this poem supposed to trivialise the experience. I wrote this purely from the story my mother told me of how she remembered that day. Xx

She Cries

It doesn’t feel so real to her
The emptiness carried inside
Locked within a cubicle
From the world she hides

She finds it hard to understand
The meaning of destiny
Waiting for the moment when
All she wants will be

But she doesn’t think this now
She drowns within her rain
The only thing that she can feel
Is immense, unbearable pain

The life she held within her
Has died the second time
Along with it she feels she’s gone
She feels it is a crime

She wonders if it’s all her fault
Did she do something wrong?
So sure she is that she did right
No mistakes were made along

Yet the hole inside is gaping
Life made, life lost again
She feels she will never be whole
Her heart will never mend

She holds onto her stomach
The cubicle opens wide
Her sister takes her in her arms
And says “it will be all right”

But she knows it’s just a comfort
Life won’t ever be the same
Her sister says it will happen
Today is just today

It doesn’t feel so real to her
For today she just might die
She holds onto her sister
And together they sit and cry.

© Lily K. Lynn 2011