The First

The First

I can’t bring back what could have been
That recklessness of youth
That yearning to fall so mindlessly
Within feelings misunderstood

I know now that I’ve missed that time
That time that became my own
Exploring so very fervently
These places far from home

I gave myself to the world then
And I let you walk on by
Perhaps it was fear that held me back
Perhaps it was not my time

That white dress innocence is gone now
I know love is not child’s play
Though it’s still a stranger to my heart
I see love in a different way

How can I explain this to you
Innocence against battle scars
Scars of time that went on by
Of feeling trapped by bars

Yet the scars on my heart are zero
I haven’t been tainted there yet
But I know the risks from wisdom gained
In playing this lover’s bet

You become my very first everything
First kiss, first touch, first love
First one I want to make see smile
‘Cause just your smile’s enough

So tell me what you think now
For though you are the first
I know you’ve loved before me
You’ve seen the best and worst

From where we are now standing
I know we should be the same
I should have loved before you
Someone must’ve staked my claim

But I joined the game much later
I am innocence to you
And every time you touch me
The feeling is so brand new

I may not be sixteen again
But what I missed out then
I feel it now with you by my side
Like this love will never end

And I don’t know if it’s better
To love now when I am wise
Or to yearn for total abandon
In my sixteen-year-old mind

So you told me I was different
And now you know just why
I’ve had no heartbreak in my life
No reason for me to cry

It all sounds good on paper
For there’s no need to compete
I won’t be leaving one foot behind
When jumping in with both feet

But know you are the first
The first that may break my heart
And I won’t ever be the same
Should love tear me apart

And if that should ever happen
Just know I’ll be okay again
I’ll even accept the reality
That we may not stay friends

This burden is the price you pay
For being first owner of my heart
You’re the first I want to give it to
Of me, you’ll always be a part

So before the heartbreaks and the tears
Thank you for showing me
For teaching me what it’s all about
For we’re making history

Let’s rule this world together on stars
See every single thing on earth
And at the end, should there ever be one
Just remember: you were the first.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2013

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Things I’ll Never Do

Things I’ll Never Do

 

Tonight I saw a shooting star
That made me think of you
It made me think of everything
That I will never do

I’ll never get to hold your hand
And see you smile at me
Or wonder to myself at night
In ten years where we’d be

I’ll never get to kiss your mouth
To feel your lips on mine
Or even get to fight with you
And pretend the next day I’m fine

Those silly arguments won’t be had
I won’t get to make up with you
I’ll never get to tell you tomorrow
That I will always love you

I won’t be the one to wipe your tears
Whenever I see you cry
To softly touch your cheek with my hand
And tell you you’ll be fine

I’ll never get to be the girl
Who says “I believe in you”
To encourage you to chase your dreams
And have faith in all you do

You’ll never hold me close to you
So I can hear the beat of your heart
I’ll never hear you say to me
How we will never be apart

You’ll never be the man for me
The one that I’ll see grow
It’s just these things I’ll never do
These moments I’ll never know

So I tell the shooting star tonight
About the things I’ll never do
I tell it that despite all this,
I’m still the girl for you.

© Lily K. Lynn 2011