The First “I Love You”

The First “I Love You”

I always wondered about the boy
Who would steal my heart one day
I did not think that boy would be
The man you are today

You kiss me and I turn away
For I’m a little shy
My coyness seems more than enough
To scare off other guys

But what’s shy to you is quirky
And the way you touch my face
Makes me want to hold onto
This feeling I can’t replace

You stole a part of me that night
That’s now just memory
You showed me something of yourself
That others don’t really see

I had dreamt of whispered “I love you’s”
But the way you said it that night
I don’t think it could have been better
It couldn’t have felt more right

I’m not sure what really took place
As you held me in your car
But something seems to have changed
As you showed me who you are

Now there’s a weight deep in my gut
And I think it’s because of you
I think that people call it fear
For now I’ve something to lose

Our lives they keep on changing
And who you are today
Is not a guaranteed forever
As nothing stays the same

Just know when I said “I love you”
It means our happiness comes first
As the past burns out and the future comes
Our feelings may disperse

But loving you means letting go
Should letting go be right
It means you see hope in one place
Where for me there’s just no light

But “I love you” comes with no regrets
And in my heart you’ll stay
The one who showed me something real
Who changed my yesterdays

You said you want me to remember
And now you’re a part of me
The boy who once upon a time
I fit with perfectly.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2014

The Crevices

The Crevices

They tell us to hold onto our dreams
Don’t ever loosen your hand
They tell us to panic, to find a way
Or they’ll slip through the crevices like sand

It’s normal to want to change what’s wrong
To yearn for all that could be
We want certainty in the outcome
Yet the future’s still a mystery

So we cut ourselves and bleed our hearts
We sweat, we bleed, we cry
We’re desperate little beings, aren’t we?
When we struggle so much to survive

Oh, this can’t be right, this can’t be life
Happiness at living hell’s cost
Fighting blind like a foolish man
As if what hasn’t come is lost

So I’m asking the universe today
To help me let it go
I’ve put it out there and all that’s left
Is to reap what I have sown

The sand may escape through the gaps
Of the fist you dared to free
But as the sand falls to ground
It makes room for possibility

Don’t know when, don’t know how
But the emptiness frees your soul
See, the hardest part of chasing dreams
Is learning to let them go.

© Lily K. Lynn 2012