Don’t You Know

Don’t You Know

I see it in your eyes sometimes
Brown water drops that never cry
The way you try to hold it in
Like showing weakness is such a sin

You ask me through your subtle words
But I’m shut-off and a little absurd
You form those doubts deep in your mind
You ask me what in you I find

But don’t you know you’re morning sun
You wake me up to kingdom come
You’re freedom in the air I breathe
The hope in everything that I see

Don’t you know you’re my shivering spine
Whenever you say “you are mine”
The aching in my gut I feel
I’ve never known to be so real

You take my loneliness on rainy days
You are the push through all my pain
Oh don’t you know you’re the bluest sky
A drug addiction that gets me high

But don’t you know I’m just afraid
That you will break my heart one day
And I’d have said to you these words
That were shut in and a little absurd

Oh don’t you know that I’m just scared
‘Cause I’ve never been so unprepared
What if love makes a fool of me
And the flaws inside are all you see

Don’t you know, I wish you knew
You’re always there in all I do
So look at me with those brown eyes
Past my surfaces to what’s inside.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2014

You Are

This was in honour of Valentine’s Day – my first ever. I told him not to freak out when he read it. He read it and said something along the lines of: “That’s fine. I’m not freaked out at all. What do you think of my poem?”

You Are

You are what I wrote about
Before I knew your name
You are the feeling that I get
From words read on a page

You are the lyrics to that song
We heard on the radio
You are a lesson I never learned
But one I ought to know

You are kisses in deserted parks
And laughter in the rain
You are a midnight curfew
I always want to break

You are moments in life I dreamt about
That I questioned to exist
But if dreams were somehow reality
It would happen just like this

So forget this now, but keep it safe
Where no one else can see
For days you need reminding:
You are all these things to me.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2014

Strangers and Lovers

Strangers and Lovers

I lost myself in your breath last night
As I felt that yearning ache inside
The moon stole witness to this claim
This unrestrained passion that took place

Silver light spills over your skin
Fleetingly I wonder: all my life, where you’ve been
Your closed eyes give way to my stare
The confusion is sometimes more than I can bear

I ask myself who you really are
If I really wish to go so far
It seems that beyond so nice and so tall
I really don’t know who you are at all

But growing night paves way for embrace
And I find myself gazing at your face
We share secrets under the shine of stars
We act like teenagers in your car

Yet time apart makes a stranger of you
Makes me think that love’s too soon
And wonder if love is in the equation at all
If I could ever really start to fall

Passion and want creates ecstasy
Your touch ignites electricity
But it’s easy to get lost in moments at night
When I am a fool and my heart thinks it’s right

We are strangers and lovers together as one
With no indication of what’s more to come
For now I can’t say what you’re going to be
A strange lover in you is all I can see.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2014

The Things You Make Me Want to Do

The Things You Make Me Want to Do

I keep my secrets locked inside
Within my heart is where they hide
And around my heart there is a wall
That must be climbed to get in at all

So you used your hammer, knocked it down
You weren’t afraid of what was found
Slowly, you begin to find my key
You unlock my secrets and set them free

I find myself thinking of life before
I was satisfied not wanting more
Now I wonder how I did without
As you teach me what love’s about

I used to like thunderstorms and rainy days
For the solitary moments given way
But I listen to it now and think of you
The thunderstorm music to the things we’d do

Your eyes pierce depths into my soul
Makes me breathe, makes me bold
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alive
I’m freedom like the ocean’s tide

It’s more than beautiful that I feel
Beyond just beauty there’s something real
You make me want to give myself
It’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt

With you, I see my inner child
Yet also I feel a little wild
Stolen kisses in deserted parks
Though I still don’t quite know who you are

I’m a little untamed with you by my side
You’re taking me on a rollercoaster ride
I begin to not trust myself with you
And these things you make me want to do.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2013

Rollercoasters

Rollercoasters

Memories return like flashing lights
Glimpses of that unforgettable night
Snapshots through my head like fire
Burning photographs of my desire

I thought of forever lying with you
Although my mind knows it’s too soon
The night was a crazy, endless fall
You broke in me what’s my heart’s law

I see your eyes staring down at me
You pulled me in and I fall so deep
Beneath the blank canvas of night-time clouds
We explore each other, ignore all sounds

You’ll never know how I try so hard
To keep a wall around my heart
I’m afraid to let you pull me in
And take me those places I’ve never been

You see, I wanted to keep a foot away
In case, to you, this was all just play
And I know it could all just fall apart
Before the best part even starts

I wish I could control my mind
Lock you away and compartmentalize
It’s not fair you have me thinking of you
Replaying our time is all I can do

I think you really might hurt me now
I want to leap, I’m fallen-bound
But I must not tell you, you mustn’t know
Just how far the fall could go

So these glimpses of memory stay with me
Until the day I can let you in
And you’ll finally know that all you did
Made me fall for you more than a bit

I hope that we will fall together
Perhaps slowly, dancing like a feather
Or plunging like a comet to ground
Yet the stars in the sky is where we’re bound

Take my hand because I’m afraid
You told me you don’t believe in fate
So you may not catch me when I fall
When you have broken down all my walls

Eventually, I’ll know that it’s okay
And it’s true what everybody says
That feeling of total helplessness
Begins with that of mindlessness

You take the risk and dive headfirst
That your decision will be the worst
But the pain of worst comes with the best
And I might love you a little less

To fall or not – can you really choose?
No matter what, it seems I’ll lose
So like those rollercoasters we talked about
I’ll risk the fall and hope to come out.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2013

Crazy Fear

Good grief, has it really been over a year since I last updated this blog? It feels like meeting up with a really old friend and there’s that inevitable awkwardness between you where you’re both like “so…. how have you been?”.

Anyway, the short version of my absence is I was teaching English in Japan for most of 2012. I would have stayed on if the location hadn’t been so detrimental to my sanity. I lived next to a graveyard in the middle of rice paddy fields – I’m not even kidding. That being said, having a steady job, living on my own, paying my own bills and all that “I’m such a grown-up” jazz was immensely satisfying. In the end though, I knew I couldn’t have a life there. Maybe if the job had been in Tokyo or Osaka instead of some obscure small city, things would have turned out differently. But hey, it was a learning experience I don’t regret, despite the hardships.

Now I’m back home, back to square one, trying to get into an industry I don’t have a background in – it’s crazy. Being in your twenties is crazy and scary and difficult. On the one hand, I feel it was right of me to travel and explore different things to really know what I was good at and would enjoy as a career. On the other hand, I now feel I’ve been too “all over the place” to get a job anywhere! It doesn’t look great on a resume, nor does “I was, er, trying to find myself” sound impressive at a job interview.

Well, hopefully I can get into writing poetry again – one of my loves. I wrote this one recently about someone I, well, recently met. I’m such a late bloomer in all aspects of my life, including dating!

Crazy Fear

It’s been so long and don’t know how
My faith in finding love was found
For a while it seemed so clear
But now I’m overcome with crazy fear

My imagination took me on rides
But I could always just retreat and hide
I could control the fantasy
For it was all just make-believe

But what’s real is more than I can bear
And I never thought I’d feel so scared
I dreamed of him so many times
And spoke of him in all my rhymes

I said when I loved, I’d love with my all
And if I should stumble, I’d suffer the fall
But I’d take that chance and take the risk
For I yearned desperately for that first kiss

Now it’s come and I don’t know why
I feel so terribly torn inside
Afraid my flaws will be all he sees
‘Cause I really don’t know what he sees in me

What’s truly inside will push him away
And I don’t want to have to convince him to stay
Afraid he’ll see through my transparency
That he’ll take my heart and make it bleed

Or worse, he’ll judge me before he knows
What lies inside that I have to show
It’ll all be over before it even began
And I’ll never really understand

I’m walking on glass with my bare feet
Afraid of cuts if I step too deep
He thinks it’s skill, not necessity
For the surface right now is all he sees

If only this crazy fear was gone
Counting how many things can go wrong
If only I could let him in
I won’t have to wonder what could have been.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2013

Caught

Caught

Caught between the you and me
The everything that we will be
A second is all that it will take
My dreams are traded for our awake

Nothing moves except your eyes
The spinning globe I see inside
Nothing sounds except our hearts
And I wonder when it all will start

Forgotten people all around
Life’s radio is turned on down
‘Cause here there’s only you I see
Eye gaze held with invisible beam

Our future rolled into a second
Hear it sing, oh hear it beckon
The highs and lows that we will have
The in-between, the good and bad

Then just like that the second dies
And you continue walking by
Strangers caught in time elapse
One day, I think, one day perhaps.

© Lily K. Lynn 2012

Stone Wall

Stone Wall

Sometimes I look in the mirror
And don’t recognise who I see
A stranger in my reflection
Is staring back at me

How did I come to be here?
What are the secrets that I hide?
People are always telling me
There’s sadness in my eyes

Yet I don’t feel tainted
I haven’t been burned or scarred
It’s those strange walls inside of me
That tell me to protect my heart

My parents taught me when I was young
Look both ways before you cross the road
Don’t take candy from strangers
Don’t go around kissing toads

So I guess I must protect myself
In order to not feel hurt
I must bury the person I am inside
Now all that’s left are these words

I wish I wasn’t so afraid
That for once, someone would see
It’s worth it to stick around a bit
So that I can show you me

But the walls I have push people away
All they see are those grey stones
My reflection would have them believing
I would rather be on my own

I give them the tools to break it down
But they just shrug and walk away
My shrinking heart inside the stone wall
Is not worth a price to pay

So the walls keep getting higher
And I cry because I know
That all it would have taken
Was for someone to break one stone.

© Lily K. Lynn 2011

I’m Okay

I’m Okay

I try to hold the tears back
My face it’s turning red
I close my eyes so tightly
And think to what you said

I think to what you taught me
Through our tangled love
The words not ever spoken
Yet spoken just enough

You taught me through your actions
You taught me through your fears
You gave up when it’s hopeless
So I learnt to persevere

You always kept your secrets
You always told me lies
So I learnt to solve
Instead of asking why

In the face of danger
You never stayed on ground
So I learnt to fight
Not scream to just be found

You saw in me some hope
I never saw before
So I learnt to forgive
People for their flaws

The years that I have known you
I have learnt just this
There are no failures, just setbacks
In the lives we live

So through the hopelessness
I am feeling now
I know that I must never
Stay fallen on the ground

No matter how desperately
I wish to fall from here
I know that I must always
Stay and persevere

While I keep this struggle
I know that I will lie
But I will also solve
Instead of asking why

And when I’m hit to ground
I will get up again
I won’t give up this fight
Till my heart is mend

And when I see you next
I know I will forgive
The flaws that lie within you
The life which you must live

There are no failures, just setbacks
I remember you this way
So all I do is breathe
And remember I’m okay.

© Lily K. Lynn 2011

A Single Kiss

I like to break the heavy things up with a little levity now and then, so this piece is fairly self-explanatory if not overtly sensationalised through verse. What are your first kiss stories? Or your most memorable kiss? Leave a comment and share your story with everyone below! If it intrigues me enough, I would love to re-post it in my next blog post for more people to read. Xx

A Single Kiss

This day is one that never ends
Where impossibles come true
Where stars have fallen down to earth
Where I am here with you

This moment is where imagination
Blurs with reality
The difference is indistinguishable
Whether real or fantasy

This time I cannot really tell
If I’m happy or afraid
For both are overwhelming me
And both will never fade

My feet have left the steady ground
And rising high above
Yet gravity remains around
An illusion of heavy love

My eyes are shut so tightly
Yet I can see so much
A revolution of my life
Sorrows, smiles and such

I’m shivering and trembling
Yet I am not cold
The warmth I feel is electric
The courage I feel is bold

I asked for you to show me
The meaning of miracles
An answer that would tell me
Something tangible

I sat there and I waited
I knew the answer would be long
How I never would have guessed
Such as I was wrong

My body it is shaking
Yet I feel so warm
My mind is so completed
Yet so incredibly torn

My eyes are shut tightly
Yet everything I can see
You’re catching me as I fall
Into a fantasy

The moment lasts a second
Yet it never dies
The stars are falling down
From the lit-up sky

I want to cry because
I’m happy and so scared
I cannot tell the difference
Who am I and where

You finally showed me clearly
What a miracle was
If all this isn’t miracles
Then I am at a loss

It didn’t require a dictionary
No explanation thought
Such irony your answer showed
Such simplicity you sought

All these feelings of miracles
You showed me through your lips
I understood the moment we touched
All this from a single kiss.

© Lily K. Lynn 2011