Falling For You

Falling For You

You read my mind the other night
The thoughts in me I tried to hide
But lying with our faces close
My eyes gave away what I want most

You asked to know what’s in my head
For you know that my mind never rests
My eyes can’t shield what this has become
It’s too late now to turn and run

But I’m scared and just a little coy
A girl enamoured by a boy
So I smile and keep my lips shut tight
While your eyes glimmer with the moonlight

Yet you won’t give up so easily
You want to know just all of me
So I tell you, you must read my mind
To know what’s going on inside

You hint around and ask for clues
Is it a bad thought or is it good?
My hint is transparent as shiny glass
You somehow read my mind so fast

I don’t know how I gave it away
You speak the words that I can’t say
But the best part wasn’t “I’m falling for you”
It was hearing you say, “I’m falling too.”

 Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2014

Advertisements

F—, I Think I’m in Love

F—, I Think I’m in Love

I’m not sure what’s going on here
It came like a lightning bolt
Struck me unexpectedly
And put my heart on halt

I’d thought maybe it’d be nice
To live in a romance film
But I was a non-believer
I thought, “it can’t be real”

I kinda, just sorta liked you
If you know what I mean
I wasn’t sure if there was more
For it remained to be seen

But now I sit here missing you
And I just saw you today
There’s something tugging at my chest
Like my heart is child’s play

It tugs so hard a tear slips out
And I yell “F — I think I’m in love”
I’m no longer one person without you
My own company’s just not enough

I’m not sure if I should hate you
For making me need you so
I pathetically bury my head in the pillow
That smells like your cologne

And I think I would die if you knew this
I’ve played it so cool thus far
But I’m slipping from the rails here
Into everything you are

You know, I can’t function anymore
My life has become second to you
Everything becomes colourless
There’s nothing else I want to do

I know it’s so unhealthy
To become addicted this way
To live in a world that’s just you and me
To want you to always stay

The worst part is I don’t care at all
I want to fall into addiction
The ache inside just hurts so good
The strangest disposition

So I wrote this poem in some vain attempt
To get you out of my mind
But know that in five minutes
I won’t be feeling so fine

‘Cause I think I’m falling in love with you
[insert profanity of all kinds here]
I didn’t know I would lose myself this way
For that’s one of my greatest fears

But I suppose that’s just what falling is
Giving a part of yourself away
Replacing it with the part you gave me
We become connected this way

The feeling is new and foreign to me
And I may think I’ve lost myself
When perhaps I’m just changing
Into more of something else

I finally, truly get it now
All those things people said about love
The risk, the pain of heartbreak
The need to act so tough

But I’m in it now and it’s too late
It’s become more than just a game
Darn it, I’m in love with you
Now my life won’t ever be the same.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2014

Don’t You Know

Don’t You Know

I see it in your eyes sometimes
Brown water drops that never cry
The way you try to hold it in
Like showing weakness is such a sin

You ask me through your subtle words
But I’m shut-off and a little absurd
You form those doubts deep in your mind
You ask me what in you I find

But don’t you know you’re morning sun
You wake me up to kingdom come
You’re freedom in the air I breathe
The hope in everything that I see

Don’t you know you’re my shivering spine
Whenever you say “you are mine”
The aching in my gut I feel
I’ve never known to be so real

You take my loneliness on rainy days
You are the push through all my pain
Oh don’t you know you’re the bluest sky
A drug addiction that gets me high

But don’t you know I’m just afraid
That you will break my heart one day
And I’d have said to you these words
That were shut in and a little absurd

Oh don’t you know that I’m just scared
‘Cause I’ve never been so unprepared
What if love makes a fool of me
And the flaws inside are all you see

Don’t you know, I wish you knew
You’re always there in all I do
So look at me with those brown eyes
Past my surfaces to what’s inside.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2014

You Are

This was in honour of Valentine’s Day – my first ever. I told him not to freak out when he read it. He read it and said something along the lines of: “That’s fine. I’m not freaked out at all. What do you think of my poem?”

You Are

You are what I wrote about
Before I knew your name
You are the feeling that I get
From words read on a page

You are the lyrics to that song
We heard on the radio
You are a lesson I never learned
But one I ought to know

You are kisses in deserted parks
And laughter in the rain
You are a midnight curfew
I always want to break

You are moments in life I dreamt about
That I questioned to exist
But if dreams were somehow reality
It would happen just like this

So forget this now, but keep it safe
Where no one else can see
For days you need reminding:
You are all these things to me.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2014

The First

The First

I can’t bring back what could have been
That recklessness of youth
That yearning to fall so mindlessly
Within feelings misunderstood

I know now that I’ve missed that time
That time that became my own
Exploring so very fervently
These places far from home

I gave myself to the world then
And I let you walk on by
Perhaps it was fear that held me back
Perhaps it was not my time

That white dress innocence is gone now
I know love is not child’s play
Though it’s still a stranger to my heart
I see love in a different way

How can I explain this to you
Innocence against battle scars
Scars of time that went on by
Of feeling trapped by bars

Yet the scars on my heart are zero
I haven’t been tainted there yet
But I know the risks from wisdom gained
In playing this lover’s bet

You become my very first everything
First kiss, first touch, first love
First one I want to make see smile
‘Cause just your smile’s enough

So tell me what you think now
For though you are the first
I know you’ve loved before me
You’ve seen the best and worst

From where we are now standing
I know we should be the same
I should have loved before you
Someone must’ve staked my claim

But I joined the game much later
I am innocence to you
And every time you touch me
The feeling is so brand new

I may not be sixteen again
But what I missed out then
I feel it now with you by my side
Like this love will never end

And I don’t know if it’s better
To love now when I am wise
Or to yearn for total abandon
In my sixteen-year-old mind

So you told me I was different
And now you know just why
I’ve had no heartbreak in my life
No reason for me to cry

It all sounds good on paper
For there’s no need to compete
I won’t be leaving one foot behind
When jumping in with both feet

But know you are the first
The first that may break my heart
And I won’t ever be the same
Should love tear me apart

And if that should ever happen
Just know I’ll be okay again
I’ll even accept the reality
That we may not stay friends

This burden is the price you pay
For being first owner of my heart
You’re the first I want to give it to
Of me, you’ll always be a part

So before the heartbreaks and the tears
Thank you for showing me
For teaching me what it’s all about
For we’re making history

Let’s rule this world together on stars
See every single thing on earth
And at the end, should there ever be one
Just remember: you were the first.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2013

Hope’s Candle

Hope’s Candle

I wonder if failing gets easier
The older we become
We wear them on us like medals
Of obstacles overcome

Hope begins so abundant
When we see through child’s eyes
I wish to feel so limitless
To find limit in the sky

Yet the pain begins to numb me
Each failure crumbles my faith
Timelines of all that should have been
Tell me it’s all too late

They say failing makes you stronger
Each downfall a lesson learned
No one ever thinks to mention
That your hope, it also burns

Hope’s flame begins so fiery
If you tend to it, it grows
But the flame it always flickers
With every taken blow

Hope’s candle starts to diminish
That burning pool of wax
Until there’s really nothing left
Of flame that it once had

What can I do, my candle’s out
I’m broken down again
No matter how I try to ignite it
My hope is at its end

Then I woke up this morning
And there was a box from you
Inside the box was a candle
Fresh, untouched, brand new.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2013

That Moment Last Night

I realise the title of this poem is awfully uncreative, but I couldn’t think of what else to call it. The title is exactly what this poem is about, so it is what it is!

That Moment Last Night

I think back to that moment last night
As you stared on down at me
The warmth of your body over mine
You whispered so carefully

Delirium takes over our minds
It tends to give me pause
You hold me close, press into me
Tonight, my heart is yours

You brush your nose against my cheek
Beneath the stars we kiss
Time stands still for you and me
Tonight, we just exist

Then you look me in the eye, say:
“What are you doing to me?”
I coyly smile, ask “What do you mean?”
As my heart beats frantically

That’s when I glimpse a part of your soul
As you tell me “You’re a wonderful girl”
I wonder if I’m in a movie now
Dreaming my own little world

But you say it so sincerely, you say:
“Don’t you think otherwise,
I don’t know what you’re doing with me
I’m just an average guy”

Words get caught inside my throat
A traffic jam from my mind
I try to think of all the reasons
As he asks me why

I think of his nervous laughter
I think of his goofy smiles
I think of the sweet things that he does
I think of his artistic style

It’s everything together
And all he did to win my heart
I’m ineloquent in expression
‘Cause I don’t know where to start!

So my mouth spills out generic
Something like “you’re a nice guy”
I think he means the things he says
So I tell him, yes, that’s why

We settle back onto the grass
And as we paint pictures with clouds
I think of things I should have said
If my brain would connect with my mouth

But I take comfort in the growing night
As I realise it’s just the start
We have the rest of eternity
To share what’s in our hearts

So I kiss his neck and close to his ear
I whisper quietly
I tell him that of all the places
There’s nowhere I’d rather be

He holds my hand and smiles
His warmth burns my defence
And I know we are thinking the exact same thing:
“I wish tonight would never end.”

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2013

The Things You Make Me Want to Do

The Things You Make Me Want to Do

I keep my secrets locked inside
Within my heart is where they hide
And around my heart there is a wall
That must be climbed to get in at all

So you used your hammer, knocked it down
You weren’t afraid of what was found
Slowly, you begin to find my key
You unlock my secrets and set them free

I find myself thinking of life before
I was satisfied not wanting more
Now I wonder how I did without
As you teach me what love’s about

I used to like thunderstorms and rainy days
For the solitary moments given way
But I listen to it now and think of you
The thunderstorm music to the things we’d do

Your eyes pierce depths into my soul
Makes me breathe, makes me bold
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alive
I’m freedom like the ocean’s tide

It’s more than beautiful that I feel
Beyond just beauty there’s something real
You make me want to give myself
It’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt

With you, I see my inner child
Yet also I feel a little wild
Stolen kisses in deserted parks
Though I still don’t quite know who you are

I’m a little untamed with you by my side
You’re taking me on a rollercoaster ride
I begin to not trust myself with you
And these things you make me want to do.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2013

Stranger By My Side

Stranger by my Side

I wonder who he becomes at night
Before he lays to sleep
I wonder about his rainy days
And if he ever feels so deep

The masks we put on begin to crack
As time it passes by
Exposing the wounds and the flaws
Revealing all our lies

Melancholy consumed me today
And I wonder how he’d feel
I’ve never had to think of another
When I’ve felt so very real

I wonder why I care so much
When strangers are all we are
You can’t truly know a person
When you’ve only come so far

But he’s such a lovely stranger
Whose kisses I wish to keep
But something seems to hold me back
From jumping with both feet

My sadness can overwhelm me
I like to lock away and hide
I’ve taught myself resistance
In keeping feelings shut inside

Yet I know I must now be open
For if I never give my heart
Strangers forever is all we’ll be
And it will end before it starts

I fear misunderstanding
For I feel to the depths of my soul
Not many care to reach so far
To disappear in those black holes

Smiling feels like work sometimes
I just want to know him all
I wish I could see his melancholy
Before I start to fall

Those moments before we fall asleep
When we’re alone on rainy days
There’s no one else to answer for
No meaningless things to say

I think if he could know me now
And I could see him here
The strangers we are to each other
Would become a bit more clear

I wait for that moment I look at him
I wait to see it in our eyes
I wait for the day that he becomes
more than a stranger by my side.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2013

The Twenty-Something Soul

The Twenty-Something Soul

It never seems like a mistake
Those moments you decide
You tell yourself it’ll be okay
And pay your sins with time

You pay them so very freely
For life hasn’t “happened yet”
You think you have more years to go
To live out your regrets

The signposts you meet are many
They point in every which way
So you sigh and fall down on your bed
“Just get me through today!”

Facebook makes you doubt yourself
Your friends are all engaged
Or they’re out there “living the dream”
While you’re stuck in this cage

That degree you got means nothing
That’s why you took off and took flight
Struggling to somehow “find yourself”
Through raging, sleepless nights

You saw the world with your own two eyes
And thought you knew it all
Never realising there’s only you now
To catch you if you fall

Heartbreak costs more than you bargained
Because now is when people change
Seven years down the track
He or she won’t be the same

Feeling like you know everything
Yet nothing at the same time
Watching as other people take that dream
The one that was meant to be mine

Change is constant and so is doubt
Those mistakes cost you a life
The life that you were meant to have
Those dreams you knew not you strived

Society punishes you for changing your mind
For trying to find who you are
You’ve caved when the highlight of your week
Is Friday night drinks at the bar

You just want to be “together”
You want the body, the soulmate, the dream
That apartment that’s yours and a job you love
A life that fits perfectly

Yet nothing happened how you planned
You keep digging a deeper hole
Pretty soon you’ll be close to thirty
With absolutely nothing to show

Bombarded with messages from the wiser
Disheartened by the young
Trying to find some footing in life
While trying to just have some fun

So kick down that darned signpost
Disable my Facebook page
Look ahead with peace of mind – ‘cause you know what?
I did my best today.

Copyright Lily K. Lynn 2013